Wednesday, February 19, 2014

What To Value When You Have To Do It Alone?

She asked me, "How was your undergrad experience?" The mental health expert looks across to me and awaits my answer. Up until this question I was fidgeting, guarded, and shut down. But then- I light up and say, "It was great. The best time of my life." I remember the feeling clearly.  It was as if for a moment I was experiencing youth again. Gone were the expectations to be the super writer/gradstudent/girlfriend/friend/daughter/etc. or the anxiety of what if I'm going to be fucking poor and desperate in four months. I genuinely remembered a moment of my life where I was having a great time. Maybe in ten years I will remember these moments of being alone and maybe I will crave them. These two years of writing and crafting will mean something, and this really concise but intense time of my life will be a distant memory.  I'm  trying to appease people whom I may never see again.

Ying Out.