AH MAH GAWD!

My friend Alexis.... very talented and very beautiful. Dang girl we should be dating! LOL Jk she's married and has an adorable daughter.

We come from the same artist community, and over the years I've been a fan of all of her plays and just overall pleasant disposition. She's always remains positive and insightful in the most difficult situations. Did I mention she's also funny as fuck?

I follow the MISS Crew blog and when they did a call out for beauty bloggers/contributors. I knew that Alexis would be perfect for the job, so I forwarded her the call out. Yes, everyone... I'm giving myself CREDIT! Damn I should be a talent scout. Teehee.

I always look forward to her meticulous yet accessible beauty posts. She has an enviable medicine cabinet and that I just want to rob. She shares my love for NARS cosmetics and gay men. What a beautiful combo!

Of course it comes of no surprise that Miss Crew snatched her up! She is now a contributing beauty blogger. Check out Alexis' first post for them. If you see Alexis on the street give her a high five. Love you girl!

Thick Dumpling Skin: The Bootch Edition

Image via: Bicoastal Bitchin

Are you an Asian female who's reminded that she's fat, skinny, losing weight, gaining weight at every family party? Perhaps you were confronted with a scenario where a female family member noted that you were fat and gaining weight, and then proceeded to shove an enormous plate of food in front of your face.

There is a glare on the other side of that plate, even a look of earnestness and approval. So what do you do?

Do you inhale the three delicious helpings of Kare Kare so that your Auntie insensitive will not cry if you don't eat it?

You probably will, because its worth the comfort. You just got called fat. Sure why not, get the extra rice. In fact, grab a fried pork chop while you are at it. Shit, where is THAT cake? Oh there's ice cream? Pile it on!

As much as Asian women use food for approval and comfort we are so quick to call each other fat, the minute someone's body no longer has the silhouette of a 13-year-old boy.

Unlike other cultures, Asians are not accustomed to seeing their families only twice a year. We see them all the freaking time. And as customary as a "Hello," someone is there to tell you the status of your body. You think you have "Thick Dumpling Skin" until you are told you need to lose weight.... from five different family members.

I myself, have punished myself on countless diets and then fell a part at a family party. The spread of fried meats, egg rolls, noodles, makes me feel like a lion set free. Besides, being on a no-carb diet is just ludicrous. I mean the most Asian part about me is that my blood flows with the help of noodles and rice. And hello, stir-fried was not invented by white people so why the hell should I not eat Bon Chon fried chicken!

Hyphen magazine did a great article on Ada Wong, who was a runner up on the weight-loss show The Biggest Loser. Upon reading the article they highlighted a blog called Thick Dumpling Skin. The blog's two founders Lynn Chen and Lisa Lee both talk about their own issues with eating disorders. I was deeply impacted and relieved that two speak about these issues within our culture. In fact, as I'm writing this, I'm devouring a pork chop as we speak.

"Oh you are just too sensitive!" Yeah.. probably. However, these comments cause eating disorders, and just to let you know, people with eating disorders have an earlier death rate than the asshole told them they were fat.

Unless you have inherited the "Asian Metabolism," which is arguably rooted in poverty, farming culture, and possibly war-stricken stress, these issues probably strike you to the core. I would gather that these issues are why an Asian person's relationship to food is rooted in safety and comfort, and not having enough food on your plate would send you in a hunger stricken panic.

It is very American to lament about eating too much food. Whereas many of our relatives experienced famine and war, which could be why our family is so bent on have so much food. Food is beautiful and social. It's such a joy to be around my family and we are all eating, because we take pride in cooking well and being together.

I think every single woman in my family has had a bad day with their body, and even warded themselves before seeing oversea family member. There is an anxiety about being called fat, when you are culturally supposed to be skinny. Fat is a very broad term for Asians. Maybe the rest of American has accepted a size 8, but for Asians that's obese. I'm not sure how issues of body dysmorphia can be addressed in a culture that doesn't even see it. Skinny is the norm, why wouldn't you be a size zero?

We can argue for days about how eating too much is not good, but how about we talk about how snippy fat comments are detrimental? The healthy/unhealthy choices of women are rooted in self esteem. I'm not going to let my daughter, boothebootch Jr, eat a whole bucket of KFC, but damn it. She's not going to be in this madness. I want her to fit other stereotypes such as getting my taxes and finances straight. I'd rather she be a Dr. Boothebootch Jr and not a size zero. See, i'll be a great mother.

My relationship with my family hasn't changed. We are still as close as ever, but it's important that my relationship with food is evolving. Food is beautiful and it brings people together. Asian people shouldn't have a bad relationship with food, it's one of the most beautiful aspects of our culture.

I'm very grateful for Lisa and Lynn and I hope that you all get a chance to follow their blog.

Now eat!

Thao and Mirah

UGH.... I hate the fat head in this picture, but I couldn't crop it out.

Thao and Mirah performed at the Hotel Cafe in Los Angeles last night.

I've been itching to see some live music, and when I got the invite I bolted out the door.

Los Angeles has plenty of great music, and Thao and Mirah did not disappoint.

They got a great review in the LA Weekly and apparently their show was not to miss. Both women have their own stylish breathiness to their singing. Thao's is very deep and electric whereas Mirah's is very ethereal. While listening to their set I felt a lot of country and folks influences, and there there were some songs where they rocked the fuck out, and it was awesome.

I even got a picture with them! Oh wait.... woops!


There you go!

No Facebook Day 95

Peep "Don't 'Like' Me" on KQED's Perspectives.

By Jasmine Ty (Also fellow Bindlestiff Artist)

We no longer live in an age where we have to keep up with the Joneses. No, now with the invention of Facebook, we have the privilege of keeping up with the Garcias, the Spencers, the Changs, the Lees and the Millers. All from the comfort of your own home. We are now in the age of a digital democracy. You have the right to post pretentious status updates, list enviable schools and jobs, show off exotic vacation photos, baby videos and more. You have the right to live the good life for all to see. And because every picture, every post is meticulously selected, everyone has an obnoxiously good life.

I wonder what you do offline. I wonder what your status is overall. Chris is... Dennis is... Heather is... A news feed of what you're thinking, what you're doing every second of the day, political commentaries, pro- and anti-religious sentiments, rambling rants, mundane musings. It's like hearing everyone at full volume, thoughts formerly reserved only for yourself on broadcast for 675 "friends" to hear. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for what social networking does: reuniting people, helping causes, spreading awareness. But sometimes, I don't really care what you think.

I'm giving up. I cannot compete with your digital self -- carefully orchestrated posts and photos. I cannot keep up with where you are. Karen is at Golden Gate park...in Las Vegas...at the movies. I want a break from "connecting and sharing with the people in my life" as the slogan goes. I want to sit and eat good food without anyone knowing about it. I want to turn off my "share" button and stop announcing my break-ups, make-ups or telling the world "It's complicated." Who cares? I don't want to poke anyone, play Farmville or give you any more access to my digital DNA than I already have. I want to post images only to my mind, only for me to see. Above all, I want to stop referring to myself in third person, stop posting comments and start living a life beyond Facebook walls.

Do me a favor and please don't "like" this.

With a Perspective, I'm Jasmine Ty.

Raja - Diamond Crowned Queen [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

For those who watched Rupaul's Drag Race season 3 recap, will recall the hilarious conversation where Manila told Raja that she sounds like James Earl Jones. Well Miss Darth Vader in drag recorded a really catchy dance track, and a music video that will make you blush.

Honestly, this video sounds nothing like Raja. He's on super/hyper-autotune, but I don't really care. He's doing what he does well, which is give good face, with smoldering eyes and a bad girl pout. I love how he challenges gender, sexuality, and fashion, which were qualities that made his win practically a shoe in. In non-drag he's a bit of a hunk, and one of my favorite Asian-American break out stars of this year.

All hail queen Raja! Sex for Dinner!

My Favorite Asian-American Bloggers

1. Fashion Blogger: Bleed For Fashion
2. Mother/Writer/Evolving Blogger: I, Mami
3. When food met the Yellow Power movement blogger: Fresh off the Boat
4. The resourceful and cute as shit blogger: The Adventures of Yoshi
5. The ultimate half asian Ho and snarky blogger: Michael K from Dlisted

These are folks that I always look forward to seeing in my googlereader. They represent my need for food, fashion, fun, art, and shit talking. I'm glad that Asian Americans are becoming popular for expressing their perspectives, since we've been a world that often overlooks it. I haven't wrapped my head around why blogging is so popular, and what makes one blog more appealing than another. Whatever the answer is, I'm glad that these four individuals do it.

In Honor of Asian Women, Cuz It's Our Month Bitch!

Paper Tigers

What do you know, it's Asian American history month! Interrupted by the fear of Rapture that is to come this Saturday, I realized that May is coming to a close, and I haven't posted anything Asian-American. How un-Asian-American of me. Jesus, that was a lot of hyphens.

My girl Chelle forwarded me this feature from New York magazine written by Wesley Yang, called "Paper Tigers". He poses the question, "What happens to all of the Asian-American over achievers when the test taking ends?"

Paper tigers is in reference to Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, who unfortunately has suffered at the hands of her own rapture. She basically scared everyone shitless, and has been publicly flogged for her scary Chinese mothering.

I appreciated the range of Asian-Americans that Yang interviewed for this 11 page feature. He represented the complexities fairly, and had something for everyone to relate to. I wish I could have written something this eloquent for my senior thesis, when I graduated from Asian American studies. I too frazzled and flighty to put the thoughts together.

I was a little irritated that Filipinos were not included in this conversation, but the Chinese half of me was enthused that the participants were so candid and honest. My favorite part was the "Romance Bootcamp," where Asian men were learning Alpha male techniques so that they can meet women.

I'm always concerned about my Asian men. Dating them, and watching them try to date, has been both painful and enlightening. Sex, socialization, power, and dominance are elements that shapes American power. The thirst to be accepted is understandable, but worrisome. If we create Alpha Asians to be up to par with their White counterparts, they are going to be as equally as annoying. Don't we have a term for these types of people? Yes, we call them douches.

As for the women, I met my fair share of Amy Chua's, and they make me shiver. They either emotionally unravel at the slightest touch, or they are the most unforgiving bitches that lack a fucking sense of humor. I can't decide which type I like more!

However, the attack on Chua was unfair. The Wall Street Journal posted the juiciest part of her memoir, which sent so many Asian women to an immediate trip to their therapists. The memoir was meant to explore the pros and cons of this type of parenting, but White people got themselves into a frenzy, because the assumed she was posing Chinese parenting as superior parenting. It made it sound like Chinese people put their kids through a concentration camp in order for them to succeed. Actually, that's an excellent idea, and it would be a profitable business model.

For the record, I do not have a tiger mother. My mother is a Filipino lion. She is responsible for my stunning personality. I've inherited her glare, so much so, that when I look at pictures of myself, I shudder in fear. It brings me back to childhood, and I'm in trouble, because I made my mother mad.

She would be so proud!

I love how Yang slightly surfaces the Asians that simply don't give a shit. It's not that blatant, but I sure did notice it and I giggled. I guess this is the category that I fall in. I've never treated education as life or death, but I my Western attitude of "doing my best" did serve me well. I can abandon the things that are not that important, and my life does not end if I am not good at certain things. However, I will become Asian when I give a shit about something. When I find a skill that I can do well, I hang on to that it like a life raft, and I obsess about it till no end. I will practice till it's perfect. Not just well, but perfect.

Anyhoo, Happy Asian-American month. Please feel free to give me your opinions about the article. I'm more than willing to discuss.

Here are some highlights that caught my attention:

" (She quotes a music teacher at Stuyvesant describing the dominance of Asians: 'They were mediocre kids, but they got in because they were coached.')"

"Colleges have a way of correcting for this imbalance: The Princeton sociologist Thomas Espenshade has calculated that an Asian applicant must, in practice, score 140 points higher on the SAT than a comparable white applicant to have the same chance of admission."

“At Stuy, it’s completely different: If you looked at the pinnacle, the girls and the guys are not only good-looking and socially affable, they also get the best grades and star in the school plays and win election to student government. It all converges at the top. It’s like training for high society. It was jarring for us Chinese kids. You got the sense that you had to study hard, but it wasn’t enough.”

"Mao was becoming clued in to the fact that there was another hierarchy behind the official one that explained why others were getting what he never had—“a high-school sweetheart” figured prominently on this list—and that this mysterious hierarchy was going to determine what happened to him in life. “You realize there are things you really don’t understand about courtship or just acting in a certain way. Things that somehow come naturally to people who go to school in the suburbs and have parents who are culturally assimilated."

"What if life has failed to make you a socially dominant alpha male who runs the American boardroom and prevails in the American bedroom? What if no one ever taught you how to greet white people and make them comfortable? What if, despite these deficiencies, you no longer possess an immigrant’s dutiful forbearance for a secondary position in the American narrative and want to be a player in the scrimmage of American appetite right now, in the present? How do you undo eighteen years of a Chinese upbringing?"

"If you are a woman who isn’t beautiful, it is a social reality that you will have to work twice as hard to hold anyone’s attention. You can either linger on the unfairness of this or you can get with the program. If you are an Asian person who holds himself proudly aloof, nobody will respect that, or find it intriguing, or wonder if that challenging façade hides someone worth getting to know. They will simply write you off as someone not worth the trouble of talking to."

Japan 2011

I'm back in Los Angeles now, and I've been meaning to catch up on the blogging. My last Asia trip has left me speechless, but I just needed to get back home and put things into perspective.

It's time to talk about Japan.

Japan is this magical place. As my dad would put it you walk around the city and you "feel like a kid again," because you get so distracted with everything that is around you.

Being in Tokyo was the polar opposite of being in Manila. It's a well operated and uniformed society. Unlike Manila, you see very few children. Japan has a really low birth rate, which may be the lowest in the world. Instead you see a swarm of fashionable adults, who are constantly shopping, eating, and commuting.

It is a society where everything happens in the most meticulous order, therefore making it really easy for foreigners to get around. If was a relief for a control freak spaz like myself.

What I couldn't control was my wallet, but I didn't go as hog wild this time. The last time I went to Tokyo it took me a whole to pay the trip off, which included my materialistic purchases.

The top three splurges was a sweatshirt at Bathing Ape, a baseball jacket at the Nike Store Tokyo, and a couple of items from Jeanasis. That's it, but my wallet is still hurting.

If you are an Asian fashion bootch it's very easy to get sucked into the fashion monsoon that is Tokyo. You feel constantly under dressed, and the urge to buy really great clothes just compels you like a demon.

On top of that everything fits you.... perfectly. Well almost perfectly. My thick ass thighs didn't even dare try to put on any pants. I'm just saying.

My cousin and I wanted our wallets to take a break from hurting itself, so we were looking up Tokyo tours online, and we found the Tokyo Ghost and Goblins Tour. It was only $30 U.S. dollars and we got to see some of the spookiest places in Tokyo.

It was one of the most interesting tours I've ever taken. Our tour guide was American, but has been living in Tokyo for the past 25 years. We visited various shrines that honor magical creatures. In the picture to the left I'm standing next to the Kappa Shrine, which is a shrine dedicated to magical Frogs, who like to pull women into a river and have their way with them. LOL.

We went to the cemetery tomb of the Japanese artist Hokusai, who is famous for his painting "The Great Wave off Kanagawa"

The creepiest place she took us to was "Old Hags Pond." I'm not sure what the Japanese translation for this is, but it's a site of a really famous serial murder. The picture is below.

As the story goes, there was this old woman who owned a hotel and she had a beautiful daughter who would stand outside to lure men.

Apparently the girl would lure in these men to have sexy time, and after they went to sleep the mother would push a big ass bolder from above and crush them.

How did the old woman get this big ass boulder above the bed after she was done?

Any smart person would agree that there are holes in this story, but the tourguide told us that apparently this woman had killed 999 people. Then there was this handsome man who apparently got the pretty daughter excited in her panties.

When it was time for the old woman to push the boulder on the pretty man, she crushed her pretty daughter's face instead. Her daughter was her 1,000th victim. The woman was so distraught she drowned herself in the lake, and what's left of the lake is a pound around the monument. AAAH!

My cousin Marc thinks that this story is a crock of shit. However, there is a freaking monument with a pond so that the ghosts of the dead boulder men do not wander around the city.

The ghosts apparently cannot separate themselves from water, so there you go.

What's even creepier is that there is children's playground next to the pond which is to the left. I suppose every culture has their set of tales, and this one definitely creeped me out.

It will definitely be a long time before I go to Tokyo again. After my last trip which was two years ago, I made it a point to watch "Lost in Translation." I felt that I would have a better appreciation for the movie this time.

It's really easy to feel out of place here. For people who are looking to travel to Japan, it helps to pick up a few Japanese phrases. If you didn't do your homework, what usually helped was a notebook and a map. I would usually write down places that I wanted to go, and people were kind enough to direct me where I needed to go.

Although I feel really out of place when I'm in Japan, I appreciate how kind Japanese people are. It doesn't matter to me whether it's fake or not, it's appreciated. The more you travel you realize that you simply a speck of dust. My trip to the Philippines and Japan brought me the best quality time I've had with my family in a really long time.

I had to part with my Bestie/Cousin Marc and I HATED it. We traveled together in both the Philippines and Japan. What am I going to do without him?I feel so bad that I relied on him to be my translator and gps, because my ditsy ass could barely make my way out of the hotel much less around Manila or Tokyo.

I'm grateful that he was able to stand seeing my face everyday for three whole weeks. We put up with food poisoning, colds, and mental breakdowns together. However, he and I are pretty in sync in terms of traveling interests and now he's GONE! WAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!

We will find ourselves together again, although it's usually half way around the world. He is now back in Australia and we have resumed our usual schedule of Gchats and facebooking.

I didn't cry when we parted like the panzie that I am, because I cried a week before. I cried when my mom noted that Marc really takes care of me. My mom had to tell me to stop crying because we were in the middle of a department store.

I'm getting teary as I am typing this and always wish that Marc didn't live in a faraway neverland called Australia. He is the best travel companion a bootch could ask for. Everyone loves Marc and there is no reason not to. I miss you bestie. It was a great trip wasn't it :)