Second Week

My roommate has been gone on vacation all of this week, so I've been in the apartment by myself. I suppose I should be used to this, since I basically lived alone for the past year.

The past week has been basically catching up on writing, meeting up with old friends, and finding a really cheap yoga studio. I'm not bursting with amazement, but I'm not necessarily unhappy either.

I'm hiding in the apartment because it's safe here.

Although I spend a lot of my days alone I'm enjoying the solitude. Truth be told, I've been needing it. I've been confronting the projections that I've invented about myself, but I think I'm being good about it.

For the first time in a really long time I'm not beating myself up for what I am and what I'm not.

My dad warned me about the loneliness in LA, because I will be in my car most of time. Of course he is right, but I've also have made some pretty big revelations while driving, which is amazing because I hate driving.

The most important revelation that I've made is if I love writing, choreographing, and dancing so much, why is this not my job? If these are my dreams why am I not doing them? I would do these things for free. I would love to do these things forever.

Then there is my present dilemma. I have a dope opportunity to perform in the bay, but I would be spending at least a month in a half there for rehearsal and preparing for thanksgiving. This would be fine because I'm not working, but I wonder if this would the defeat the purpose of me moving down here in the first place.

I could use the company, the time, and the creativity. I need to sit on this. Shit I have the time.