The Insomnia Trials

I was in the bay this weekend for my brother's graduation. Whenever I stay at my mom's house, I have at least one bout of retarded insomnia, and it drives me CRAZY! You would think that falling asleep drunk would assure a sweet somber, but instead I wake up at 3am, and my brain has called upon a list of issues to discuss.

It wants to talk about my love life, my insecurities, anxieties, and will even want to discuss the events of the day. It will give me an instant replay of everything that has gone wrong for all my life, with some random songs on the brain playlist. Last night the brain's song of choice was Lady Gaga's Judas and Eminem's Lose Yourself. So random right?

Sometimes my Insomnia actually imitates a google reader. If I close my eyes and organize my thoughts, I will see the google reader going down all the issues of the moment. Yes, I realize that this all sounds really insane. I have no idea why there is a google reader in my brain, but what the hell, there is a google reader in my brain!

I try not to scream as I see the sunrise. I had yet again wasted four hours of laying in my bed trying to get my brain to shut up, so that I can sleep. I shut my eyes as my parents are getting up to go to work, and I realize where my habit of slamming everything comes from. I come from the loudest family on earth. We slam everything from the cabinets, the dishes, to the air.

Finally, I see black. I wake up an hour later feeling like I had the worst night on earth. This week I'm dedicated to having a better sleep schedule, and I'm ordering a free 7 day trial for Lunesta. I can't do this shit anymore.