The Moment Has Arrived

Preparing for my skype interview

The moment is approaching where I'm going to start hearing back from schools. Because of this my anxiety has been working in overdrive, and I could barely hold a thought at times.

I had a big interview with a big name university yesterday, and I was a nervous Nelly.

Ugh, I felt like I was getting ready for a date. I was pacing back and forth from my bedroom to the bathroom, changing outfits, doing my hair, and picking the right makeup.

My Skype look was natural, but artistic professional.  Just to make sure I looked okay I opened up photobooth on my mac,  just to see how I would look on video.

Upside... skin looked good... thanks MAC brush 187... downside.... I seriously need a haircut.

I spent most of yesterday morning preparing answers and making sure I was well versed with the program.  I had it ingrained in my mind that this school is the one for me, and I need to nail it. I'm a serious writer.... damn it!

When our Skype interview started I was immediately taken aback that there was a panel in front of me.  I don't know where their camera was, but I felt far away from them. I had issues hearing their questions, and I was unsure if they were hearing my answers. They asked a couple of questions that threw me off, like what my favorite TV shows and plays were. I usually love answering this question, but I was a babbling Barbara.

They told me that they loved my writing sample.  EEEEEE! *cue me dying inside* I was already smiling a lot, but I was beaming when I heard that.

The last question that they asked me is "What would I contribute to my class if I were accepted?" I told them that I'm compassionate and patient, and that I do my best to help writers align their  work with their values.

I guess they liked that answer, because I got a lot of nods. When the interview was done I was on the verge of tears. I didn't feel as poised as I wanted to be. I'm a stickler about communicating things clearly and I wasn't a 100% sure that I did with this interview.

What about my five year plan? What about how this university fits with my writing? GAGH, I had so many other things I wanted to talk about. WOMP WOMP

My mom was telling me over the phone "Don't over analyze it Honey. You're going to make yourself sick."

Whenever my mom calls me Honey it brings me back to being a kid again, which is what I needed to snap me out of my anxiety.  I have to leave it to the gods. Wish me luck y'all

My Ingredients for Retro Pin Up

Yesterday I attended a White Gloves Brunch with my two BFF's Ann and Rachel at the Rotunda at Neiman Marcus.

Now I know the theme was "Ladies who lunch," but I ended up looking more like Traci Lords from Crybaby rather than a proper Southern Belle.

I learned how to do this look when I was a huge Masuimi Max fan girl. I had never seen an Asian American pinup model before, and because of her I began to experiment with Bettie Page bangs and 40's up dos.

The retro 40's/Rockabilly look is a little over saturated in Los Angeles, so I've been a little hesitant to bring it back.

In order to do this hair style you have to set you whole in huge curlers, spray a shit ton of hairspray, tease furiously from the root, and start rolling your hair from front to back. Then you pin. I would recommend large bobby pins. I didn't have them this time around, so my hair was sort of falling by the end of the day. Once I set the rolls, I just curled the bottom with a large barrel curling iron. However, I'm going to invest in some hot rollers, because that what they used to use in the back the day, and it will hold the curls better.

There are a ton of how-to videos, and I wish I had one to recommend, but on the real, I just stalked some rockabilly girls on Myspace back in the day, and I just copied as best as I could.

As far as makeup is concerned, I contoured, used minimal eyeshadow, but had a wicked cat eye with MAC boot black liquid liner. Donned some fake eyelashes and red lipstick and I was hitching for a ride like Miss Traci Lords below.

Here's my Inspiration and also product list of what I used to get this look:

Okay back to our hot brunch. When we booked this brunch I immediately knew which dress I wanted to wear. I finally got to sport my gray business dress from the Banana Republic Mad Men Collection. I didn't know how committed to character we were going to be, so I didn't get a fancy hat that a nice Southern lady would wear. I instead opted for curling and rolling my hair, which went with the outfit just fine.

However, when I arrived I was pleasantly surprised on how each of us interpreted the theme of the day. Of course my girls looked at beautiful as always.  Ann's look was more Mary Tyler Moore and Rachel was  dressed as a hot society wife in NYC in a cute strapless dress.  I seriously have to be friends with these two forever, because they know too much about me and it would be a security risk if we were to part :)

We had a great time gossiping, ordering fancy food, and just being girls. I've been grateful to have these two as my girls for almost ten years now. The three of us are so different in aspirations, style, and personality, but when we are together all we do is laugh.

Thanks for the blessings and the giggles ladies... till we meet again.

Bill Cunningham

"Fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life"

Bill Cunningham is such a compelling character for film, because you can't judge right away whether of not he is empowered or disempowered.

At first impression, you wouldn't assume that Bill was in the fashion industry. Every day he dons a blue jacket from a hardware store, but he is freakishly obsessed with clothes to a point that makes you wonder..... why?

Hailed as the "Most important person in the word," his fashion photos are a coveted feature for the New York Times. Bill has spent his career photographing clothes of people of every size, shape, and color. There doesn't seem to be a cruel cell in his body. I would even declare that he might be the nicest person in NYC.

He truly is a purveyor for art and not a socialite, and would push aside a famous celebrity in an instant to get to the regular person with the most interesting outfit.  He calls everyone "child" and squeals "you kids!" with such sincerity and energy, you wonder how this  a beautiful light navigates through all of the snooty patooties in the fashion industry. Everyone in the industry clamors to get Bill at every major event.  It's beautiful and frightful at the same time.

I projected a lot of feelings of loneliness and sadness when I watched this documentary. Behind the smile, the bike, and the endless pockets of powerful friends, I just saw this little boy in an 80 year-old body. And at the same time, I just love him to pieces. Fashion truly is an armor. Life is freaking hard, why not look good while trying to get through it?

Bill's documentary is currently on Netflix. Check it out.

Raja Inspired: How to Contour an Asian Face

Contouring Tools by boothebootch on polyvore.com

The first time a makeup artist tried to contour my nose she made me look like a Klingon. Not only was I saddened that she was trying to reshape my nose, but the lines that she used to contour my face were too harsh and too obvious. In the Philippines they use this method for T.V. so that they can create the illusion of a thin pin nose, but when the contouring is too obvious it's pretty horrible.



I have a love/hate relationship with my nose as you can tell by over butt-hurtness of the Klingon situation. It wasn't until I saw Raja (WHO I LOVE) on Rupaul's Drag Race, that I started to understand the purpose of contouring, and how it can accentuate an Asian face without butchering the beautiful nose that was god given.

I'll be the first to tell you Raja as a dude is FIONE. With absolutely no makeup he's gorge and perfect just way he is. When he gets in drag he contours the sides of his nose and his cheekbones.  As a result showcases his eyes and lips more and displays a more feminine look.

There are a tons of videos on YouTube that will show you how to do it, but after much research on  I found that this video best explained how to best "blend in" the contouring without looking like a Klingon.



After much practice with the right tools, and the proper tutelage, last night was my best contouring session.  Not only was I happy that my efforts reshaped my cheekbones and nose, but I was able to kind of hide my ole forehead! I rarely go out without my bangs, but because I contoured it, I definitely felt more comfortable showing my dome.





  The two godsend tools that make contouring success is the MAC 187 brush and the Sephora concealer brush. To set it up you have to the do the tribal warpaint step that they show in the video,  and that's what I use the Sephora concealer brush for. The MAC 187 brush is what I use to blend everything together. This is the miracle brush, and also my most favorite of all my brush children.

I further highlighted my cheeks with a MAC peachy blush, and voila! You have a contoured face :)

I'm all about loving one's face. Everyone has features that are not their favorites, and contouring is not a way make them vanish, but rather to a way to embrace the face that you have. The links below have the product info for all of the contouring tools. Enjoy!

Contouring Tools by boothebootch on polyvore.com

Good Days

I had an awesome week. I'm learning a lot in my new internship and I'm meeting a lot of dope people.  I've been blessed to be surrounded by great writers, dancers, film makers, stylists, and so on. They let me know that a creative career is possible. I continue to live on a prayer.

When I have a good day... I try to look like this.....



 But inside I feel like this.....


By the way. I've submitted my FINAL grad school application. I'm relieved and exhausted at the same time.

Tatiana's Look

My good friend Tatiana asked if I would be her stylist next time I came to the bay. Of course I was flattered, and was happy to help since I'm trying to curb my own spending at the moment. I suggested that I make a fashion board for her instead.  Eh, it's not really at Vogue status yet, so I'm gonna have to practice some more. The names by her outfits are celebrities that give her a fashion boner.

Anyhoo, Tatiana is a major babe. I hope she shops for the both of us and *sniff* makes me proud :D

Tatiana by boothebootch featuring a suede jacket

Toodles

There's not enough shopping or baking to make up for my neurosis, but because of it, I have a bitchin shoe collection right now.

It was suggested to me to put all of the things that trigger worry into a box, so I did. Now it's in a storage unit that is far away from me.

It's been a couple of days since I've done this, and I'm ashamed to admit that I miss some of the items. I know this is strange. You shouldn't have to miss the things that worry you, but sometimes the worry is a comfort when you are by yourself in a large city.

I have a couple of nieces and nephews who are about to enter adult hood.  Some of them are very afraid to grow up. I have very clear memories of their parents when they were teenagers,  and the attitude towards growing up couldn't be any different.

It's so funny to me, because I was like a bat out of hell when I turned 18. All of a sudden I could stay out all night, I could date, and do all the debouchary that I had always wanted to do. Now I would beg the gods to let me go back to high school so I can do it over again. So I guess, I don't blame my nieces and nephews for not wanting to grow up.

I have one more school to apply to, and then I just sit on my hands and wait. It's time to for the stressful ritual of looking for a job.  I need to channel my worry from comfort to motivation. Lets get it cracking.

Spank Bank: Metallic and Oh I'm an Animal Edition

I think I've mentioned before that my steez is Rihanna meets Kate Moss if they had a coked up baby. People joke that just basically means "studded crap." I guess I should rename this set glamour meets studded crap edition. All of you. Please pray that ANY of these items go on a decent sale. This bootch will be grateful.
Spank Bank: Metallic Oh I'm an Animal Edition by boothebootch featuring a black bag

French Connection deep v dress
$348 - bloomingdales.com

French Connection cotton dress
£160 - houseoffraser.co.uk

Sam Edelman high heel boots
$150 - heels.com

Rebecca Minkoff flap handbag
$595 - ebags.com

Rebecca Minkoff black bag
$195 - stefanibags.com

COACH boyfriend jewelry
$348 - coach.com

Golden Globes GORGE: Salma Hayek and Charlize Theron

Kelly Osbourne: A True Pinay in Her Golden Globes Dress

PS I know I spelled her name wrong, but I'm too lazy to change it.

This Gave Me a Tingle in My No No Parts

This fool totally sings like a Pinoy. I don't know how to explain why, but his "emoting" is a very Filipino thing. SWOON!

Second Hand Adventures: Clothing Swap and Crossroads

I got invited to a clothing swap in Long Beach this past weekend. I was sort of overwhelmed to walk into a room of 20 Filipino women dumping clothes in the middle of room, but the whole day was super fun and it was cool meeting new folks.

I suppose a clothing swap is appropriate for the new year. I like to reassess my closet every year and get real with what I do and don't wear. However, when my closet starts to lose weight I fill it back up again with more clothes.

Before this past weekend I had cleaned out my closet to sell, but I ended up coming back from Crossroads with more stuff than I sold =/ I seriously have a problem. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not dating, but I just feel so comforted by my clothes. Hello someone submit me for Hoarders! Whenever I get home from a binge I b-line for my room to avoid my roommate clowning the shit out of me, as I clutch my clothes and yell "It's my money fool! I can buy whatever I want!"

Well even though my last binge was all second hand stuff, I can't say that I actually saved money or created more space. But I came up like a true shopaholic. Below are my favorite items.

So my shopping choices are half delusional and half impulse.  Every girl looks at an outfit that puts them in a fantasy of a fabulous future event. So I'll let you know what the fuck I was thinking!

1. Puma Sweatshirt: I'm a huge fan of Weezer.  I might go to a casual dinner in this and talk about the 90's. Actually I found this sweater in the pile after a bootch tried to take item #3 off my back, but I'll get into that later. Anyhoo, I got really nostalgic when I saw this sweater.  I'll probably rock it with some shorts and kicks.

2. Shaun White Flannel: I see myself lounging around a coffee shop and being hip in this shit. Look at me on my laptop I'm writing fucker! *sips on expensive coffee*

3. Adidas Jacket: So during the swap the rule was, if you are already wearing it, it's yours. If it's not on you, you have to rock paper scissors for it. This tall bootch wanted to rock paper scissor for the jacket, so I looked at her with my mean ass bootch face. I let her try it on, and then the sleeves were too short. I told her I would shed a tear for her, and then said "now give me my jacket back bitch."

4. Cynthia Vincent Sweater: If your guess was that I would be hiking up Machu Pichu in this, then you are a snarky asshole. I got this from Crossroads. It's actually mad cute and comfortable. Wool and cashmere! Woot Woot! I have an all black maxi dress that I can wear this with.

5. United Colors of Benetton Jacket: Hopefully I can march around Sweden in this solving a murder with a girl who has a dragon tattoo. It's super Euro, but quite comfortable. Very rarely does it get cold enough in LA to sport this, but I have it just in case.

6. Ethnic Man's Shirt: Oh Boy... looks like I'm going to have to organize a rally! Where's my headwrap! Got this at the clothes swap. This was actually longer, but I hemmed it just now to give it a more feminine look. I'm gonna pair this with my black leather shorts or some wide legged pants.

7. BCBG Heels: Dude fierce and comfortable! When I saw these at Crossroads I sort of died. These are shoes that will last beyond getting from the car to the dining table. I can actually trek around the city in these.

8. Boutique 9 Kitten Heels: Another Crossroads find, but I'm gonna be real. These shoes are two sizes too big for me. Just listen..... I couldn't find them online anywhere. They are the perfect heel, very Ashley Olsen, with a touch of Rihanna. I will stuff the shit out of these shoes until they fit me.

9. Jewelry From the Clothing Swap: Bout to get my Erykah Badu on! I was actually eyeing all of this stuff while the coordinator was making the rules. I saw the two fingered ring from the corner of my eye, and at the same time was grabbing the door knockers and bangles. Yo, do not mess with my shopping. I will kill a bitch to get to the the stuff that I want.

Closing thoughts: Second hand can be a killer to the wallet even if you don't buy anything new for the whole year. However, it's worth it if you like bougie shit. There is no way I would have been able to afford the Cynthia Vincent sweater at full price, that sweater was probably $300. So there. Enjoy your second hand adventures.

Santee Alley: The Harajuku of Los Angeles

My good mate Joi is a very talented fashion stylist. Meaning this bootch is a professional shopper, and she is my "pusher" for clothes. One day I went to her house, and I saw these super cute Jeffery Campbell booties lying on the floor. When I tried them on she told me that they were knock offs from Santee Alley and she only got them for $25.

So later in the month I met her at Santee Alley, and got a whole bunch of goodies. I had quite an adventure buying a bunch of cheap but fashionable crap.

I'm not sure if I'm committed to labeling Santee Alley as the "Harajuku" of Los Angeles. I just saw that in the google search and I thought it was a funny comparison. Unlike the Harajuku district in Tokyo, you can walk out of Santee Alley with at least 20 items without filing for bankruptcy.

Here's a link to find more info about Santee Alley.

The four items above is pretty much what I walked out with. Okay everything I purchased was fierce, with the exception of the "MAC" makeup. I got super suckered into buying this because of the colors, even though I opened up the products knowing full well that they didn't smell like MAC products at ALL. *FACE PALM* I bought them anyway for $10 each. So I tried the eye shadows, and to my surprise I didn't get an eye infection. The colors are nice on the palette, but they don't blend well. Not worth the $10 or the space in my makeup bag. SORRY!

Okay so in the picture the boom boom shorts look mad pleathery, but I swear they don't look like that in person. The $5 dollar shirt..... well it's a $5 shirt. LOL

My favorite purchases are the eyelashes and the SHOES! I got JC's for $30 and the SE's for $60. I pay about $6 for my favorite fake lashes at Walgreens, so I sort of made a stock pile of eyelashes when I got to Santee Alley. My shoes have gotten a lot of compliments, except from some man friends who think they kind of look ridiculous.

I really want to hammer kick someone in the Sam Edelman knock offs. I have to be careful putting them on or else I'm going to cut myself LOL.

Bring cash and go with a friend. For the most part, you can negotiate a discount if you go with a friend and buy in bulk. Although I joke with Joi that I need to stay away from her, I really just need to stay away from Santee Alley or else I'm going to go bankrupt forreal.

Happy New Year: Here Comes the Sun. It's Alright.

Me and E. during Lorna and Omz's wedding

Before the new year I had so many inspirational things I wanted to share with you guys. I wanted to share my new state of positive thinking.

It's still there, but I the holidays kicked my ass. I ran around my mom's house like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to prepare all of these things and I didn't really get a chance to process the experience.

My extended family was in such a positive mood, and I truly enjoyed everyone's company. I haven't felt this connected to them in a long time. I guess that's the true power of the Christmas, I get to see my whole family even if its only for a short period of time.

As much as I tried to keep my heart upbeat, it was hard to not realize that there was a lot of loss this year. 2011 was a year for people to bear their crosses, and find their way out of the darkness.  As more people report of people they've lost, I shut the emotions out because I'm still dealing with E.'s death.

For the past three months my gchat status was "e." which I've had since the day he died. I finally changed it today, because I have to make another step in saying goodbye.

For the most part I think that I've accepted E.'s death, but then a song comes on and my car is just a puddle of tears. There are nights when I have dreams where we just hugged and I can smell those African oils he used to wear. God, I even miss fighting with him. It's silly to think about that, but at least when we were fighting it showed that we cared about each other. I wish he was alive to see my transformation, new found maturity, and willingness to forgive.

Positive thinking is like any skill in which you have to do a lot of work to maintain it. You can't do it without help. You have to surround yourself with folks that support your process, and want to walk the same journey with you.  There are some deep and important relationships I've had to put on pause for this very reason. Although I think of these people often, my heart tells me that I have to go on this journey without them.

I thank everyone who's contributed to my growth. To chose who have challenged me I forgive you. In return I just ask that you forgive me too.  Happy New Year everyone. The best version of yourself is waiting to see you. Give yourself a high five when  you get there.

Rihanna - We Found Love ft. Calvin Harris

Although, I would like to divorce my penchant for really extreme relationships, I can't help but love this video.  Damn you Rihanna. I'm starting to like your repetitive anthems about codependent relationships and off the hook fashion.