Tuesday, June 29, 2010

When people show you who they really are. Believe them.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Honest Thoughts With Aivy











me: u need cleanse yourself in the waters of lake minnetonka
NAME THAT MOVIE!

Aivy: hahahahah
purple rain?

me: yes

Aivy:
im going to just turn in my vag
me: don't be a fatalist!

Aivy: i dont mean forever
im just going to turn in my vag and spend fall and winter working out more
i guess more appropriately
my vag, like how squirrels
store nuts, will be in hibernation for the cold months ahead

me: asdfjk rhqweopryq89pry5yqw39pb54q23-57q7q4
u are a fucktard for that one
!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aivy: and then i'll let it thaw out in spring 2011 and go apenuts for the big 3-0

me: u are fucking stupid
LOLOLOLOLOL
god mine is going on strike
but it so wants to cross the picket line

Monday, June 14, 2010

It's between you and me GOOSE! You're gonna die..


I have a cousin who likes to post moded pictures of her friends and family on Facebook for their birthdays. Damn it. I was not spared.

Oh Fantastic. He was actually a pet for a minute, but he pooped too much. I named him Fantastic in reference to Charlotte's web. He's was a mean ass bootch, but apparently I was the only one who was able to hug him.

When the farmer dudes picked him up. My parents told me that he was going to back to his family, because they missed him. Well he probably ended up on somebody's plate instead.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Mom's spaghetti

Will undo any bad day. No I'm not sharing.




Monday, June 7, 2010

Why I love being a Hag

Fag Hag that is, but I hate the word that comes before hag in this title. So we'll just say Hag.

At 16 in the passenger side of my best friend's car. I asked a couple of questions that opened the flood gates. Why don't you have any guy friends? You're best friend is a girl, but you never had the hots for her?

"Christina I have to tell you something."

OMG here it comes. He's going to tell me he likes me. Damn it Christina you just went through this last week with your other dude friend, and you can't afford to lose another one. Say something before he does..... like right.......

"I'm gay."

oh.

A hag was born. Who she was from then on completely changed. Her crew would would be compiled of pretty men instead of bitchy backstabbing girls. She found a dope species of people that she would grow old with, and have been down for her since she was sixteen. Yes she is always the only girl in a group of guys, but damn it she would always be the prettiest girl in the crew! She was born in a world of uncertainty, but led into a life that she loves. She would never turn back. Let me tell you why.

  1. You always have a date. Always.
  2. Candid and Non judgemental conversations. No sex question is off limits.
  3. You eat at the best restaurants ever. No joke.
  4. Even on my fattest day I can go to the Castro and someone will tell me I'm pretty.
  5. If you've been good to your gays your drinks will always be free.
  6. Someone will always dance with you and will even catch you when you drunk fall...... five times.
  7. You get the best hugs on earth. Big and sincere.
  8. If I met a gay ten years ago he remembers me because of the way I danced.
  9. They remember that you made out with someone in a gay bar -_- and never fail to mention it when they see you. Even 8 years after it happened. awesome!
  10. It is the best friendship ever. The most unguarded and honest thing I've ever had.
There you go. A hag is born at 16 and at almost 28 she is still the biggest fucking hag :D