I am a dumb ass

If you want a really short narrative of my drive in life. It's simply this. I have to pretend that I am not a dumb ass. I can go through years where I don't have one of my humongous dumb ass moments, but that's like a dormant volcano. I can only pretend for so long, before shit hits the fan

I'm staying with my parents right now, and it feels like I'm in high school. I even have to share a car with my brother.

However, unlike high school my parents got one of those hybrid like Jettas, and not the big German tank that I drove back then. It's not really a hybrid, but it's not a regular car either. Are you already confused? Somewhere between my parents becoming "green" drivers and me being a big freaking dumb ass I missed the memo that God's favorite cars only take diesel fuel.

Oh, did I mention that I've been driving this car for the past three days? Not a peep from anyone about God's special gas that needs to be put in God's special car.

So I'm in San Francisco with my girl Maggie. We are both driving back from a late rehearsal and I fuel up the car. As I'm driving back home I feel the car choking. Somehow we make it all the way to Union City, but as soon as we are about to exit the car completely dies. My first thought was the gas, and I had this horrible feeling that I had put in the wrong gas.

It's way past midnight. Maggie and I look at each other and we just laugh because the night has been so long already, and we both couldn't believe this was happening. I have flashbacks of high school as I call my dad. Maggie is giggling and shaking her head.

"Dad. The car died."

"What happened?"

"I think I put in the wrong gas."

"CHRRRIS. STINA!!!!!!!!"

Pause.

"Stay there I'll come get you."

eep.

We see a cop pull up behind us. He knocks at the passenger window, and hello he is HELLA FINE.

Mags and I are thinking exactly the same thing. Damn it we look like shit. We both giggle like two little blonds, and I have to tell Officer Fine ass what I just did. He shook his head and felt sorry for the both us for being stuck on the road. He wanted to make sure that we were both okay, and that we were safe. Before he got back into his car Mags and I both looked at each other and we agreed that Officer Fine Ass secretly wanted to stay.

"No one told me that this car only takes Diesel."

"Are you rehearsing what your are going to say to your dad when he gets here? Now I feel like we are in High School. Hi Mr. Y_ng, but we did put in Diesel......."

We both laugh our asses off about the night that super sucked and Mags having to wake up three hours from now to go to work.

Dad finally comes. It's not that bad. His 28 year old daughter goes into the car with her head down and not word for the rest of the way home. Yep it's just like High School.

So guess what guys. If a car has a word that has Hybrid attached to it, even if it's in fine print. It only takes Diesel gas.

I look at my phone that was in my trunk this whole time. It's a text from my mom. "Remember the Jetta only uses Diesel if you need to get gas."

Oh really? Thanks for the update =/

Time of text? Right after I fuel God's precious chariot with earth harming fossil fuel.

The first thought I had when I got home? I do not want to have kids. I have to bail them out of the stupid things that they do till they are in a pair of Depends.