Sacrifices Will Lead to Greatness....Hopefully

I haven't been Catholic for ten years. It started when I was in college (of course), and I got my first introduction to Filipino history.

When I learned about the length of torture and manipulation, that it took to colonize the Filipinos into law abiding Spanish Catholics, I was convinced that being Catholic was not my path.

I associate it with being a mindless drone. There are all these damn rules that make no sense, and if you relate our religion to our home country, it explains so much. We burden ourselves with so many rules, and we kinda follow them, but we have to uphold the appearance that they matter.

I know I pricelined my first class ticket to hell, but I guess I'm still kinda Catholic, because I just feel a little guilty about it.

So this heathen would like to talk about Lent, the most favorite Catholic time of the year. It is a time for sacrifice, or as I would like to note, its the only time that Filipinos will actually go on a diet.

My whole race can throw their damn stones at me, but it's true. Within the hour after ash Wednesday I see on Facbebook "I'm giving up, meat, soda, rice, sugar, candy, etc." *Induce Christina eye roll here* I realize that in the tradition of Lent you are supposed to give up ALL animal products, but Catholics as usual bend the rules to fit their needs.

Lets read the fine print, what folks are really saying is that they are going on a diet for Jesus. They are not sacrificing for Jesus, but rather looking skinny at the end of forty days in the name of Jesus. Yeah I said it, and at some point I would like to write a successful book called the "Lent Diet," which is really based on guilt and hypocrisy.

Now lets to go to "the pot calling the kettle black" section of this rant. I have a mindless shopping addiction. In this past year I have been in about $6,000 in credit card debt and I am just about to pay it off. This spending is attributed for need for escapism and my American desire for instant gratification. Although, my expenses in Los Angeles are lower than in SF, my income was chopped in half. Whether it's dealing with loneliness or boredom, spending eases the time.

I'm taking on the challenge to not buy a f'ing thing for myself for forty days. It actually might be more than that, because I started doing this before ash Wednesday. I would like this to include food, but I kinda need that. However, if I had to choose eating burrata over American cheese there's no harm in spending the extra dough right ;)

My very good friend Tinna who co-writes the blog, Beauty Synergy, looked at me with the most tragic reaction when I declared my sacrifice. "But, you love shopping!," she exclaimed. By the look on her face, you could have sworn I told her I was cutting my right arm off.

I painfully replied, "I know." The truth hurt me as well. We both love shopping and the girly thrill that goes with it. Hiding merchandise from boyfriends, roomates, and friends are tales that we both share. She felt my pain, and she's a good friend for it.

If having a Catholic upbringing has taught me anything, it's that it's good to pause on the things that give you pleasure, so that you can have more time for the things that matter. The world is a crazy ass place right now. I have a couple of lost souls in my circle right now, and we are all trying to "Get our swag back."

Clothes and things represent fabulousness and comfort, but I have enough clothes to cover this big ole ass of mine, and enough joy to get me through my days. I try to take moments to my day to note in my mind what I am thankful for. That is of course, when I am not daydreaming about the new outfit I am going to buy when I get my first real paycheck :)

Besides, not shopping in Los Angeles is my own personal hell, so stop rolling your eyes!