Happy Birthday Bootch

My birthday was on Monday.

The day started with me opening my eyes and panicking from my bed. I laid still on my back wondering what it was I wanted to do first. Coffee is usually a great way to get things going, so I started with that.

If I make the motions small, I can handle the big task of dealing with the day.

Before I left for the airport to go back home, I went to my neighborhood mall in Fremont. When I need to sort out my mind I like to be at a mall. The mindless wandering keeps my brain from freaking out from anxiety, so there I was in my hoodie and jeans wandering and wandering.

I left the mall with two more hoodies, and I decided that it a good day for both a frappachinno and a pasta dish, so I devoured both. My cellphone was alive with tons of text messages and phone calls. It helped me put an extra pep in my step, and giggle with glee.

When I got back to LA I was filled with many surprises to say the least. My night was eased in with a dinner that my roommate planned at Crabulous , and I was joined by really great friends. I wish I took pictures! Once I saw all these great faces, I was very much as ease with being 29, and the fear of facing the rest of the year began to lessen.

The crew and I went back to the apartment, where we enjoyed Crown Royal and Gingerale. We talked about various inappropriate topics such as Grindr, blue waffle, and possible interracial/fetish work trysts. Very weird and very gross, I know, but I wouldn't spend my birthday doing anything else. I'm very much that bastos Filipino auntie, so I thrive around crude company.

I went to bed feeling very loved, very clear, and incredibly thankful. I'm blessed with the variations of life, and the lessons it provides. I made a promise a year ago that I would fight for my life, and I truly have. I have balance, clarity, and ambition, which were struggles from age 23-27.

It's a great feeling to be assured in ones skin. No matter what struggles lie ahead, I'm pretty content with the with person that I am, even though I may cringe at the things that I've done.

29 ain't bad. I have no trouble getting out of bed. There's no need to panic.