Happyness

I opened up my email from NorthWestern University....

"Christina - just left you a phone message. Congratulations on your acceptance to Northwestern's MFA in Writing for the Screen and Stage. I'm just confirming on behalf of the faculty our hope that you'll be joining us next year."

I was at my internship mind you when I received this email. I fought the urge to scream it out loud to the whole office, but I instead kept it to myself and told them I had to move my car.

As I walked to my car I wailed into my hands. The sun was beaming onto my face as the happiest tears of my life streamed down my face.  I would smile, then laugh, then cry, and repeat the cycle over and over again until I was able to get to the car and call my mom.

"Mom they accepted me. I can't believe they accepted me."

"I'm so proud of you honey."

"Mom, I've never been so happy."

I had kicked my own fucking ass for so long.  Every horrible moment that lead up to Tuesday had made sense and the oldest of pain was finally able to go away.  I fell to my knees, kissed the floor, and looked to the sky.  As a little girl I had always wanted to be a professional writer, and now I have the rest of my life to be one.

I'm grateful that I didn't get into grad school twice before. This was the school I was meant to get into. I am no longer going to be taken away from my life's purpose.

This part of my life... this little part is called happyness.

I am a motherfucking writer.

I've been in deep reflection.

I'm starting to see the rewards of my sacrifice, and it's almost to the point where I could collapse and kiss the floor.  I'm so close to getting what I want and the anticipation is maddening.

There is no other feeling like realizing your purpose in life. You can't package it or simplify it. It really takes going through the journey.  I'm emotional just writing about it, because there were so many years where I just caught in the fog. I was always meant to be a writer.  I am a motherfucking writer.

The events that led to me to this place do not define me.  The journey was crazy,  but the destination is awesome.

Whitney.

I've shutting off my feelings each time a celebrity succumbs to addiction. I didn't know them. The music industry doesn't take care of them. There's nothing I can do. I had an inappropriate attraction to Michael Jackson as a kid, which I learned to shut off as I got older. Amy Whinehouse was awesome, but we all saw that coming. Then there is Whitney Houston.  It's a little harder to shut it off this time.

The year that the movie Bodyguard came out my 5th grade friend Billy Garcia had just died. He was hit by a diesel truck on a main street by our school. Coincidentally I just wrote a piece about him for one of my writing workshops, and since I've shared his story there have been other memories that have surfaced.

When I was dealing with my first death at ten years-old, "I Will Always Love You" was the song of that year. Every time I heard it, it was as if Whitney was pulling out the pain from me with her own hands.

But as the years passed, that song was over sang by every so called R&B artist and it lost its sentiment.  I got tired of it,  because it became cheesy.

However, in the past week since hearing about her death I am genuinely sad when I hear that song again.  Hearing her voice helped me tremendously during a rough time, and to watch her fade the way that she did has been heartbreaking.

I've spent the whole morning watching her videos. She has a voice that pierces through the heart. There has been no other. Whitney we love. Thank you for helping me.

The Moment Has Arrived

Preparing for my skype interview

The moment is approaching where I'm going to start hearing back from schools. Because of this my anxiety has been working in overdrive, and I could barely hold a thought at times.

I had a big interview with a big name university yesterday, and I was a nervous Nelly.

Ugh, I felt like I was getting ready for a date. I was pacing back and forth from my bedroom to the bathroom, changing outfits, doing my hair, and picking the right makeup.

My Skype look was natural, but artistic professional.  Just to make sure I looked okay I opened up photobooth on my mac,  just to see how I would look on video.

Upside... skin looked good... thanks MAC brush 187... downside.... I seriously need a haircut.

I spent most of yesterday morning preparing answers and making sure I was well versed with the program.  I had it ingrained in my mind that this school is the one for me, and I need to nail it. I'm a serious writer.... damn it!

When our Skype interview started I was immediately taken aback that there was a panel in front of me.  I don't know where their camera was, but I felt far away from them. I had issues hearing their questions, and I was unsure if they were hearing my answers. They asked a couple of questions that threw me off, like what my favorite TV shows and plays were. I usually love answering this question, but I was a babbling Barbara.

They told me that they loved my writing sample.  EEEEEE! *cue me dying inside* I was already smiling a lot, but I was beaming when I heard that.

The last question that they asked me is "What would I contribute to my class if I were accepted?" I told them that I'm compassionate and patient, and that I do my best to help writers align their  work with their values.

I guess they liked that answer, because I got a lot of nods. When the interview was done I was on the verge of tears. I didn't feel as poised as I wanted to be. I'm a stickler about communicating things clearly and I wasn't a 100% sure that I did with this interview.

What about my five year plan? What about how this university fits with my writing? GAGH, I had so many other things I wanted to talk about. WOMP WOMP

My mom was telling me over the phone "Don't over analyze it Honey. You're going to make yourself sick."

Whenever my mom calls me Honey it brings me back to being a kid again, which is what I needed to snap me out of my anxiety.  I have to leave it to the gods. Wish me luck y'all

My Ingredients for Retro Pin Up

Yesterday I attended a White Gloves Brunch with my two BFF's Ann and Rachel at the Rotunda at Neiman Marcus.

Now I know the theme was "Ladies who lunch," but I ended up looking more like Traci Lords from Crybaby rather than a proper Southern Belle.

I learned how to do this look when I was a huge Masuimi Max fan girl. I had never seen an Asian American pinup model before, and because of her I began to experiment with Bettie Page bangs and 40's up dos.

The retro 40's/Rockabilly look is a little over saturated in Los Angeles, so I've been a little hesitant to bring it back.

In order to do this hair style you have to set you whole in huge curlers, spray a shit ton of hairspray, tease furiously from the root, and start rolling your hair from front to back. Then you pin. I would recommend large bobby pins. I didn't have them this time around, so my hair was sort of falling by the end of the day. Once I set the rolls, I just curled the bottom with a large barrel curling iron. However, I'm going to invest in some hot rollers, because that what they used to use in the back the day, and it will hold the curls better.

There are a ton of how-to videos, and I wish I had one to recommend, but on the real, I just stalked some rockabilly girls on Myspace back in the day, and I just copied as best as I could.

As far as makeup is concerned, I contoured, used minimal eyeshadow, but had a wicked cat eye with MAC boot black liquid liner. Donned some fake eyelashes and red lipstick and I was hitching for a ride like Miss Traci Lords below.

Here's my Inspiration and also product list of what I used to get this look:

Okay back to our hot brunch. When we booked this brunch I immediately knew which dress I wanted to wear. I finally got to sport my gray business dress from the Banana Republic Mad Men Collection. I didn't know how committed to character we were going to be, so I didn't get a fancy hat that a nice Southern lady would wear. I instead opted for curling and rolling my hair, which went with the outfit just fine.

However, when I arrived I was pleasantly surprised on how each of us interpreted the theme of the day. Of course my girls looked at beautiful as always.  Ann's look was more Mary Tyler Moore and Rachel was  dressed as a hot society wife in NYC in a cute strapless dress.  I seriously have to be friends with these two forever, because they know too much about me and it would be a security risk if we were to part :)

We had a great time gossiping, ordering fancy food, and just being girls. I've been grateful to have these two as my girls for almost ten years now. The three of us are so different in aspirations, style, and personality, but when we are together all we do is laugh.

Thanks for the blessings and the giggles ladies... till we meet again.

Bill Cunningham

"Fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life"

Bill Cunningham is such a compelling character for film, because you can't judge right away whether of not he is empowered or disempowered.

At first impression, you wouldn't assume that Bill was in the fashion industry. Every day he dons a blue jacket from a hardware store, but he is freakishly obsessed with clothes to a point that makes you wonder..... why?

Hailed as the "Most important person in the word," his fashion photos are a coveted feature for the New York Times. Bill has spent his career photographing clothes of people of every size, shape, and color. There doesn't seem to be a cruel cell in his body. I would even declare that he might be the nicest person in NYC.

He truly is a purveyor for art and not a socialite, and would push aside a famous celebrity in an instant to get to the regular person with the most interesting outfit.  He calls everyone "child" and squeals "you kids!" with such sincerity and energy, you wonder how this  a beautiful light navigates through all of the snooty patooties in the fashion industry. Everyone in the industry clamors to get Bill at every major event.  It's beautiful and frightful at the same time.

I projected a lot of feelings of loneliness and sadness when I watched this documentary. Behind the smile, the bike, and the endless pockets of powerful friends, I just saw this little boy in an 80 year-old body. And at the same time, I just love him to pieces. Fashion truly is an armor. Life is freaking hard, why not look good while trying to get through it?

Bill's documentary is currently on Netflix. Check it out.

Raja Inspired: How to Contour an Asian Face

Contouring Tools by boothebootch on polyvore.com

The first time a makeup artist tried to contour my nose she made me look like a Klingon. Not only was I saddened that she was trying to reshape my nose, but the lines that she used to contour my face were too harsh and too obvious. In the Philippines they use this method for T.V. so that they can create the illusion of a thin pin nose, but when the contouring is too obvious it's pretty horrible.



I have a love/hate relationship with my nose as you can tell by over butt-hurtness of the Klingon situation. It wasn't until I saw Raja (WHO I LOVE) on Rupaul's Drag Race, that I started to understand the purpose of contouring, and how it can accentuate an Asian face without butchering the beautiful nose that was god given.

I'll be the first to tell you Raja as a dude is FIONE. With absolutely no makeup he's gorge and perfect just way he is. When he gets in drag he contours the sides of his nose and his cheekbones.  As a result showcases his eyes and lips more and displays a more feminine look.

There are a tons of videos on YouTube that will show you how to do it, but after much research on  I found that this video best explained how to best "blend in" the contouring without looking like a Klingon.



After much practice with the right tools, and the proper tutelage, last night was my best contouring session.  Not only was I happy that my efforts reshaped my cheekbones and nose, but I was able to kind of hide my ole forehead! I rarely go out without my bangs, but because I contoured it, I definitely felt more comfortable showing my dome.





  The two godsend tools that make contouring success is the MAC 187 brush and the Sephora concealer brush. To set it up you have to the do the tribal warpaint step that they show in the video,  and that's what I use the Sephora concealer brush for. The MAC 187 brush is what I use to blend everything together. This is the miracle brush, and also my most favorite of all my brush children.

I further highlighted my cheeks with a MAC peachy blush, and voila! You have a contoured face :)

I'm all about loving one's face. Everyone has features that are not their favorites, and contouring is not a way make them vanish, but rather to a way to embrace the face that you have. The links below have the product info for all of the contouring tools. Enjoy!

Contouring Tools by boothebootch on polyvore.com

Good Days

I had an awesome week. I'm learning a lot in my new internship and I'm meeting a lot of dope people.  I've been blessed to be surrounded by great writers, dancers, film makers, stylists, and so on. They let me know that a creative career is possible. I continue to live on a prayer.

When I have a good day... I try to look like this.....



 But inside I feel like this.....


By the way. I've submitted my FINAL grad school application. I'm relieved and exhausted at the same time.