Tatiana's Look

My good friend Tatiana asked if I would be her stylist next time I came to the bay. Of course I was flattered, and was happy to help since I'm trying to curb my own spending at the moment. I suggested that I make a fashion board for her instead.  Eh, it's not really at Vogue status yet, so I'm gonna have to practice some more. The names by her outfits are celebrities that give her a fashion boner.

Anyhoo, Tatiana is a major babe. I hope she shops for the both of us and *sniff* makes me proud :D

Tatiana by boothebootch featuring a suede jacket

Toodles

There's not enough shopping or baking to make up for my neurosis, but because of it, I have a bitchin shoe collection right now.

It was suggested to me to put all of the things that trigger worry into a box, so I did. Now it's in a storage unit that is far away from me.

It's been a couple of days since I've done this, and I'm ashamed to admit that I miss some of the items. I know this is strange. You shouldn't have to miss the things that worry you, but sometimes the worry is a comfort when you are by yourself in a large city.

I have a couple of nieces and nephews who are about to enter adult hood.  Some of them are very afraid to grow up. I have very clear memories of their parents when they were teenagers,  and the attitude towards growing up couldn't be any different.

It's so funny to me, because I was like a bat out of hell when I turned 18. All of a sudden I could stay out all night, I could date, and do all the debouchary that I had always wanted to do. Now I would beg the gods to let me go back to high school so I can do it over again. So I guess, I don't blame my nieces and nephews for not wanting to grow up.

I have one more school to apply to, and then I just sit on my hands and wait. It's time to for the stressful ritual of looking for a job.  I need to channel my worry from comfort to motivation. Lets get it cracking.

Spank Bank: Metallic and Oh I'm an Animal Edition

I think I've mentioned before that my steez is Rihanna meets Kate Moss if they had a coked up baby. People joke that just basically means "studded crap." I guess I should rename this set glamour meets studded crap edition. All of you. Please pray that ANY of these items go on a decent sale. This bootch will be grateful.
Spank Bank: Metallic Oh I'm an Animal Edition by boothebootch featuring a black bag

French Connection deep v dress
$348 - bloomingdales.com

French Connection cotton dress
£160 - houseoffraser.co.uk

Sam Edelman high heel boots
$150 - heels.com

Rebecca Minkoff flap handbag
$595 - ebags.com

Rebecca Minkoff black bag
$195 - stefanibags.com

COACH boyfriend jewelry
$348 - coach.com

Golden Globes GORGE: Salma Hayek and Charlize Theron

Kelly Osbourne: A True Pinay in Her Golden Globes Dress

PS I know I spelled her name wrong, but I'm too lazy to change it.

This Gave Me a Tingle in My No No Parts

This fool totally sings like a Pinoy. I don't know how to explain why, but his "emoting" is a very Filipino thing. SWOON!

Second Hand Adventures: Clothing Swap and Crossroads

I got invited to a clothing swap in Long Beach this past weekend. I was sort of overwhelmed to walk into a room of 20 Filipino women dumping clothes in the middle of room, but the whole day was super fun and it was cool meeting new folks.

I suppose a clothing swap is appropriate for the new year. I like to reassess my closet every year and get real with what I do and don't wear. However, when my closet starts to lose weight I fill it back up again with more clothes.

Before this past weekend I had cleaned out my closet to sell, but I ended up coming back from Crossroads with more stuff than I sold =/ I seriously have a problem. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not dating, but I just feel so comforted by my clothes. Hello someone submit me for Hoarders! Whenever I get home from a binge I b-line for my room to avoid my roommate clowning the shit out of me, as I clutch my clothes and yell "It's my money fool! I can buy whatever I want!"

Well even though my last binge was all second hand stuff, I can't say that I actually saved money or created more space. But I came up like a true shopaholic. Below are my favorite items.

So my shopping choices are half delusional and half impulse.  Every girl looks at an outfit that puts them in a fantasy of a fabulous future event. So I'll let you know what the fuck I was thinking!

1. Puma Sweatshirt: I'm a huge fan of Weezer.  I might go to a casual dinner in this and talk about the 90's. Actually I found this sweater in the pile after a bootch tried to take item #3 off my back, but I'll get into that later. Anyhoo, I got really nostalgic when I saw this sweater.  I'll probably rock it with some shorts and kicks.

2. Shaun White Flannel: I see myself lounging around a coffee shop and being hip in this shit. Look at me on my laptop I'm writing fucker! *sips on expensive coffee*

3. Adidas Jacket: So during the swap the rule was, if you are already wearing it, it's yours. If it's not on you, you have to rock paper scissors for it. This tall bootch wanted to rock paper scissor for the jacket, so I looked at her with my mean ass bootch face. I let her try it on, and then the sleeves were too short. I told her I would shed a tear for her, and then said "now give me my jacket back bitch."

4. Cynthia Vincent Sweater: If your guess was that I would be hiking up Machu Pichu in this, then you are a snarky asshole. I got this from Crossroads. It's actually mad cute and comfortable. Wool and cashmere! Woot Woot! I have an all black maxi dress that I can wear this with.

5. United Colors of Benetton Jacket: Hopefully I can march around Sweden in this solving a murder with a girl who has a dragon tattoo. It's super Euro, but quite comfortable. Very rarely does it get cold enough in LA to sport this, but I have it just in case.

6. Ethnic Man's Shirt: Oh Boy... looks like I'm going to have to organize a rally! Where's my headwrap! Got this at the clothes swap. This was actually longer, but I hemmed it just now to give it a more feminine look. I'm gonna pair this with my black leather shorts or some wide legged pants.

7. BCBG Heels: Dude fierce and comfortable! When I saw these at Crossroads I sort of died. These are shoes that will last beyond getting from the car to the dining table. I can actually trek around the city in these.

8. Boutique 9 Kitten Heels: Another Crossroads find, but I'm gonna be real. These shoes are two sizes too big for me. Just listen..... I couldn't find them online anywhere. They are the perfect heel, very Ashley Olsen, with a touch of Rihanna. I will stuff the shit out of these shoes until they fit me.

9. Jewelry From the Clothing Swap: Bout to get my Erykah Badu on! I was actually eyeing all of this stuff while the coordinator was making the rules. I saw the two fingered ring from the corner of my eye, and at the same time was grabbing the door knockers and bangles. Yo, do not mess with my shopping. I will kill a bitch to get to the the stuff that I want.

Closing thoughts: Second hand can be a killer to the wallet even if you don't buy anything new for the whole year. However, it's worth it if you like bougie shit. There is no way I would have been able to afford the Cynthia Vincent sweater at full price, that sweater was probably $300. So there. Enjoy your second hand adventures.

Santee Alley: The Harajuku of Los Angeles

My good mate Joi is a very talented fashion stylist. Meaning this bootch is a professional shopper, and she is my "pusher" for clothes. One day I went to her house, and I saw these super cute Jeffery Campbell booties lying on the floor. When I tried them on she told me that they were knock offs from Santee Alley and she only got them for $25.

So later in the month I met her at Santee Alley, and got a whole bunch of goodies. I had quite an adventure buying a bunch of cheap but fashionable crap.

I'm not sure if I'm committed to labeling Santee Alley as the "Harajuku" of Los Angeles. I just saw that in the google search and I thought it was a funny comparison. Unlike the Harajuku district in Tokyo, you can walk out of Santee Alley with at least 20 items without filing for bankruptcy.

Here's a link to find more info about Santee Alley.

The four items above is pretty much what I walked out with. Okay everything I purchased was fierce, with the exception of the "MAC" makeup. I got super suckered into buying this because of the colors, even though I opened up the products knowing full well that they didn't smell like MAC products at ALL. *FACE PALM* I bought them anyway for $10 each. So I tried the eye shadows, and to my surprise I didn't get an eye infection. The colors are nice on the palette, but they don't blend well. Not worth the $10 or the space in my makeup bag. SORRY!

Okay so in the picture the boom boom shorts look mad pleathery, but I swear they don't look like that in person. The $5 dollar shirt..... well it's a $5 shirt. LOL

My favorite purchases are the eyelashes and the SHOES! I got JC's for $30 and the SE's for $60. I pay about $6 for my favorite fake lashes at Walgreens, so I sort of made a stock pile of eyelashes when I got to Santee Alley. My shoes have gotten a lot of compliments, except from some man friends who think they kind of look ridiculous.

I really want to hammer kick someone in the Sam Edelman knock offs. I have to be careful putting them on or else I'm going to cut myself LOL.

Bring cash and go with a friend. For the most part, you can negotiate a discount if you go with a friend and buy in bulk. Although I joke with Joi that I need to stay away from her, I really just need to stay away from Santee Alley or else I'm going to go bankrupt forreal.

Happy New Year: Here Comes the Sun. It's Alright.

Me and E. during Lorna and Omz's wedding

Before the new year I had so many inspirational things I wanted to share with you guys. I wanted to share my new state of positive thinking.

It's still there, but I the holidays kicked my ass. I ran around my mom's house like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to prepare all of these things and I didn't really get a chance to process the experience.

My extended family was in such a positive mood, and I truly enjoyed everyone's company. I haven't felt this connected to them in a long time. I guess that's the true power of the Christmas, I get to see my whole family even if its only for a short period of time.

As much as I tried to keep my heart upbeat, it was hard to not realize that there was a lot of loss this year. 2011 was a year for people to bear their crosses, and find their way out of the darkness.  As more people report of people they've lost, I shut the emotions out because I'm still dealing with E.'s death.

For the past three months my gchat status was "e." which I've had since the day he died. I finally changed it today, because I have to make another step in saying goodbye.

For the most part I think that I've accepted E.'s death, but then a song comes on and my car is just a puddle of tears. There are nights when I have dreams where we just hugged and I can smell those African oils he used to wear. God, I even miss fighting with him. It's silly to think about that, but at least when we were fighting it showed that we cared about each other. I wish he was alive to see my transformation, new found maturity, and willingness to forgive.

Positive thinking is like any skill in which you have to do a lot of work to maintain it. You can't do it without help. You have to surround yourself with folks that support your process, and want to walk the same journey with you.  There are some deep and important relationships I've had to put on pause for this very reason. Although I think of these people often, my heart tells me that I have to go on this journey without them.

I thank everyone who's contributed to my growth. To chose who have challenged me I forgive you. In return I just ask that you forgive me too.  Happy New Year everyone. The best version of yourself is waiting to see you. Give yourself a high five when  you get there.

Rihanna - We Found Love ft. Calvin Harris

Although, I would like to divorce my penchant for really extreme relationships, I can't help but love this video.  Damn you Rihanna. I'm starting to like your repetitive anthems about codependent relationships and off the hook fashion.